When things are going well it’s easy to be perky, positive and forward moving.
However, as we all know life isn’t easy.
Things go south.
We feel pain
People we love get sick
People we love die or leave
We lose jobs, pets, money
And for some of us, the news isn’t helping
The life we’ve known is gone or feels overwhelming.
During these times the strongest self-care practices can go out the window as we struggle to get out of bed and face the next day.
Every perky post on Facebook or Instagram makes us want to throw our laptop or phone out the window. And even though we may have been around long enough to know that those posts are only a micro-capture of an entire life, it can still bug us.
Then our old demons – the ones we thought had been outed and sent “to the light”, raise their ugly heads and say “guess what, we’re still here! We were just hanging out around the corner”
“This will never change.”
“You’ll never move past this”
Insert the blank on your own demon self-talk.
It’s during these times that we might begin to question every single thing we’re doing.
Here’s what I strive to do during times like these.
The quickest way to tell if you should disconnect is ask yourself – do I feel better or worse afterwards.
Example: I just finished listening to a news show, do I feel better or worse?
Worse – I stop listening for awhile or I only listen to the first 10 minutes.
Here are some other places you can disconnect by asking, “do I feel better or worse.” Some are sneaky, so you have to be honest with your answer!
1. 24 Hour News
2. Social Media
3. Phone notifications
5. Certain people – you may not be able to fully disconnect but you can limit your exposure.
Now take that extra time and move it. You’ll know it’s the right place to move it to when you ask yourself “do I feel better or worse” and this time the answer is “better!”
1. See a funny movie or read a funny book
2. Find someone you care about AND that cares about you and talk to them. Or find a counselor you trust and tell them everything.
3. Eat something good, really good, delightfully good. Something that’s nurturing and satisfying.
4. Or follow your muse (as we say in writing circle)
1. Reach out to people around you in big and small ways.
2. Be kind even in your thoughts.
3. Do something you love to do. I’d forgotten how much I loved walking along the lake front in Chicago and I realized I don’t walk at all anymore. So the next day I got up early and walked around one of Cincinnati’s beautiful parks.
5. Finally, be sure to get some sleep!
Of course, one size does not fit all, so you need to figure out what works for you.
The goal is to stay grounded, positive, kind and compassionate even when things feel heavy and draining. Every action you take that makes you feel BETTER will be a step in the right direction.
And the second you feel the demons circling, get OUT and Disconnect, Redirect and Reconnect!
As always, I bask in your brilliance! Eva xoxo
PS It’s time we talk about anger, so I’m going to host a webinar the last Wednesday in June to get the conversation started. Stay tuned for the sign-up!
Eva Lewandowski MBA, is a certified Life Coach, certified EFT Practitioner, seminar leader, speaker and co-host of a weekly internet radio show “Corporate Talk with Charlie and Eva”. She is also a 30 year veteran of Corporate America as an IT consultant. Using the skills she learned in acting classes, life coaching and EFT certification training as well as her struggle with debilitating stage fright, she created, Stand Up and Be Heard! Public Speaking for Private Professionals, a program that teaches professionals how to overcome their fear of the spotlight. She is also the author of “Put on Your Phone Face: Tips and Techniques for teleconferences and conference calls”.
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