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So you’re going about your day, checking email and there it is out of the blue a nasty email regarding your work. Suddenly you feel like they’ve not only slammed your work but your integrity and all you hold sacred in your profession. Or maybe it just scolded you in a harsh tone for being late with a deliverable. Oh, and it went to “reply all” on a huge distribution list.
Or maybe the email is regarding a touchy family matter and your family members have also been alerted.
As you sit there and seethe, your blood pressure shoots through the roof and you just don’t want to respond, you want REVENGE!
Before you hit “reply all” and defend your honor in the most forceful language you can muster. Use what they taught you in school for when you catch on fire. STOP, DROP and ROLL!

STOP

• Stop, take a breath and walk away.
• When you get back, reread it! Many times we skim through an email and when we get back to it we realize it really wasn’t as bad as we initially thought.
• BUT what if it is bad? Then it’s time to move to DROP!

DROP

• Remove all people from the reply and just put your email address in the “Send To” section. The goal is to not add fuel to this fire and send an unfinished email….. to EVERYONE!
• Decide what you want. Sounds simple but so many times when we’re stoked we’re just are out for blood, to stand our ground, to get our point across and screw anyone in our path “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore”. Take a minute and decide what you want the end result of this engagement to be then go to the next step.
• Write out your response and save it to draft then go out for a walk, get some coffee, go to sleep, basically give it some time and then revisit the email. Next day is usually best. Yeah, it really can wait!

ROLL

• Once you’ve stepped away from it for a bit revisit the draft. What’s your tone? Are you the solution or are you just passing the buck or adding fuel to the fire?
• Does it get the point across without being whiny and/or entitled?
• Let’s say you actually did make a mistake. Are you showing accountability and providing a resolution?
• If you received your email would it motivate you to reassess or make the change? If not, why not and can you change it towards that goal?

As far as I’m concerned, sending an email when you’re seeing red is like sending a text when you’re drunk and it has the same impact. You look like a jerk, instead of the competent professional that you are.
The goal is to be the solution, an example of how to handle conflict. Not add fuel to the fire, even if the person sending the email is a known jerk, just stop, drop and roll! You’ll feel better about the situation!