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    • 6 June
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    Everyone Has a Plan Until…..

    “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face… hard!” ~Mike Tyson

    “The punch in the face” is what we fear, what we plan for, what we dread, what holds us back.

    • What if I lose my job out of the blue?  I better keep my head down and keep working at this job I hate.  I better not voice my opinion unless it’s positive.  You turn into a “yes” person.
    • What if my spouse leaves me?  I better pretend everything is okay, plaster a fake smile on my face and let my health deteriorate.
    • What if the stock market tanks and I lose all my money?  I better keep working overtime, save, and not take any chances or have any fun.

    You get the picture.  The funny thing is that the fear begins to dissipate when we look fear in the face and do the thing we’re most scared of i.e. look for a new job or figure out how to improve the current one, get counseling, talk to a financial advisor, etc.

    But what if the fear is paralyzing? What if the very thought is too much to handle?  What if your fear is so overwhelming you can’t even fathom a different way to look at things?   Here’s where personal development work comes into play.

    • Think of a time when the fear first started.  Go as far back as possible. Many times our fear and anxiety is a result of something that scared us many years ago or the attitude in our homes.
    • Write it down. Get it all down on paper, every feeling, every smell, every sight, try to think of all the details.
    • Memories are fluid which means changeable. Just ask three participants at a contentious family dinner what happened and there’s a good chance the beginning may be similar but the stories will end up being vastly different (thank goodness for video). There’s also a good chance that each family member will be absolutely certain that their version was the real one which means memories are not real!
      • Now examine that memory and see if you can change it.  For example, you lost your job when you first started working and it was humiliating. Is there any way you can look at that thought differently i.e. I went on to get a better job, I hated that job anyway, I learned how to communicate better in my next job… etc.  See if you can find the gold in them there hills!
    • A change in perspective can provide you with an opening to examine  and change your current situation.  But understand that a shift in  perspective can take time and maybe the opinion of a trusted and objective  friend. Give yourself the time you need.
    • From here you can take action. The action will probably scare you at  first, so make sure to get the support you need. But know it will get easier.  The unknown can be scary because you can’t control it but once  you walk through what scares you it’s not unknown anymore!

    But what do you do if your greatest fear actually happens?!

    You did lose the job you love.
    Your spouse did leave.
    The stock market did tank and you lost your retirement savings.

    For this there is only one thing to do at that moment, basically nothing. Most of us feel the need to power through, be strong, suck it up and keep going when what we really need is to lay down or go for a walk.

    Big losses call for extreme self-care, baby steps, letting those that care for us actually care for us. Take as much time as you need to grieve, whine, yell, let it out, then surrender… From this space you can start looking at options and taking action.

    One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to learn how to take a punch and not fear it. But as I’m sure any boxer or MMA fighter will tell you it takes practice and patience with yourself.

    Here’s to your resiliency! Please book an appointment today, and we can get through this together!!

    Eva Lewandowski MBA, is a certified Life Coach, certified EFT Practitioner, seminar leader, speaker and co-host of a weekly internet radio show “Corporate Talk with Charlie and Eva”. She is also a 30 year veteran of Corporate America as an IT consultant. Using the skills she learned in acting classes, life coaching and EFT certification training as well as her struggle with debilitating stage fright, she created, Stand Up and Be Heard!, a program that teaches professionals how to overcome their fear of the spotlight. She is also the author of “Put on Your Phone Face: Tips and Techniques for teleconferences and conference calls”.

     To learn more about Eva CLICK HERE!

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