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Being Authentic Isn’t As Easy As It Seems

The other day a friend joyfully told me she had broken wide open.

“What do you mean” I asked.

She said she went from being someone who was afraid to sing to singing all the time (she had left me a singing voicemail which I loved)!

She felt herself completely connecting with the strangers around her. She said her life had changed.

When I looked at her, I instantly realized she had completely and totally embraced her authentic self on a deep and profound level. What was even more interesting is that she is someone that everyone truly considers completely authentic. But now she had gone a step further and embraced her true essence. WOW!

When I speak to groups about overcoming stage fright or just the fear of being the one that all eyes are on at the moment; it could be at a conference table, networking event or even a gathering of friends or family. I inevitably bring up learning how to speak from your heart and not your head aka speaking as your authentic self.

This concept seems simple enough. Unfortunately, it’s not always that easy. Years of hiding out and trying to fit into societal norms makes it difficult to be ourselves especially if, like me, you’re someone that prefers to stay out of the spotlight for any number of reasons.

However, I’ve found that when you finally begin to embrace your authentic self, you know it. You feel it throughout your body!

You’re powerful, unstoppable, just plain great. Just having a small taste of this feeling was life changing for me.

When you tap into you true authentic self; your essence, the immediate state of who you really are. When you tap into that, hold on for an empowering experience! One that’s so great it’s hard to even explain!

When you get to that magical internal place, a place where only YOU reside, a place of unlimited self-empowerment, you can be Marvel’s next super hero!

How do you get there? How do you tap into our authentic self? There is only one way. You have to do the internal work.

In the words of my mentor and teacher, Martha Beck, it’s the difference between the social self and the essential self. The essential self lives in the land of feelings. However, when you’ve spent a life time disconnecting from your feelings, getting back to your essential self isn’t necessarily as easy as it sounds. It takes time, practice and perseverance.

Here are a few ways to know if you’re on the right track.

• You feel good.Really speaking from your heart feels good. End of story. When you’re being authentic, when you say what you mean, your body feels good and relieved. Even if the conversation or discussion isn’t an easy one to have. You know you’re not hiding, you’ve clearly articulated your message.
• You feel powerful and energized. It’s a step above empowered. When you feel powerful it’s like lifting weights at the gym. You feel strong! You’ve shown them who you really are, there’s nothing to hide. This .. is.. IT! You feel energized even If you started out feeling tired. You’re ready to keep going.
• Time slows down or stops. When you’re working at or speaking about something you love, time slips by. You look up and suddenly it’s four hours later. This is the flow that Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi discusses in his popular book “Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience”.
• It creates tension with loved ones or co-workers. Authenticity typically comes with change and many in our inner circle like things just the way they are, let’s not rock the boat! So be ready for some pushback but also remember once you start working from your true, essential self you can’t go back. You’ve seen the light. You’ve seen a different way of living!

Being authentic takes practice and time.

We get so used to being someone else many times we don’t even realize we’re being inauthentic until we have a chronic stomachache or headache and can’t figure out where it’s coming from. It can be your body talking back to you!

For me, being authentic means practicing what I’m going to say and see if it rings true to me. And sometimes that person is louder and brasher then I would like but also at times kinder and gentler. Learning to be my true self has taken time and experimentation. I also know that each month, week, day, and moment brings me closer to having the experience my friend had and my mission is to help others do the same!

I’m really looking forward to it! Join me!

Eva Lewandowski MBA, is a certified Life Coach, certified EFT Practitioner, seminar leader, speaker and co-host of a weekly internet radio show “Corporate Talk with Charlie and Eva”. She is also a 30 year veteran of Corporate America as an IT consultant. Using the skills she learned in acting classes, life coaching and EFT certification training as well as her struggle with debilitating stage fright, she created, Stand Up and Be Heard!, a program that teaches professionals how to overcome their fear of the spotlight. She is also the author of “Put on Your Phone Face: Tips and Techniques for teleconferences and conference calls”.

To learn more about Eva click here.